


Moondust

by southside_jones



Series: blackstairs in songs [1]
Category: The Dark Artifices Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: F/M, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:01:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27298297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/southside_jones/pseuds/southside_jones
Summary: “We’re getting married!” Mia Trueblood said, raising her and Julian’s hands, revealing two identical rings in each of their ring fingers.
Relationships: Clary Fray/Jace Wayland, Helen Blackthorn/Aline Penhallow, Julian Blackthorn & Emma Carstairs, Julian Blackthorn/Emma Carstairs, Julian Blackthorn/Original Character(s), Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Mark Blackthorn/Cristina Rosales, Simon Lewis/Isabelle Lightwood
Series: blackstairs in songs [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1993132
Kudos: 16





	Moondust

**Author's Note:**

> Listen to "Moondust - Stripped; EP Version" by Jaymes Young for better quality. :)

“We’re getting married!” Mia Trueblood said, raising her and Julian’s hands, revealing two identical rings in each of their ring fingers. 

Dru squealed, and the rest of the Blackthorns rushed towards the newly engaged couple to congratulate them. All except for Mark, who was beside his own wife, Cristina Rosales. They were both looking worriedly at Emma Carstairs, Julian’s _parabatai_ , who was leaning against the kitchen door’s frame, as if she was getting dizzy.

Emma felt like she was drowning. The voices inside the kitchen were incoherent in her ears, and the only thing she was hearing over and over were the words Mia said.  _ We’re getting married. _

Noticing Mark and Cristina’s glances, she composed herself. She didn’t want anyone else to notice.  _ Pull yourself together,  _ she told herself. She knew the time would come eventually. It was the goal all along, anyway. Julian, in order to become head of the Institute, must marry someone. Still, the knowledge of the inevitable did not make it hurt any less. 

She feels the weight of Julian’s gaze, and looks over to him. His face was expressionless, but she knew him well enough to notice the hidden misery in his eyes.  _ Talk to me, please,  _ it said. Emma averted hers and approached Mia, who was beaming. She plastered a smile and wrapped the girl in an embrace.

“I’m so happy for you.” She whispered against Mia’s back, who was patting her shoulder in thanks. If she could only see Emma’s expression as she said those words.

  
  


⚪⚫⚪⚫⚪⚫

  
  


Emma wiped the sweat off her forehead, and continued whacking the dummy with Cortana. It was already 2 am, and she had been training ever since dinner ended. Her body was already shaking out of exhaustion, but she knows that if she rested for even just a little time, her mind would continue going back to the announcement back at dinnertime, that her  _ parabatai  _ and lover is getting married to someone else.

Emma struck the dummy too hard, making her already shaking left hand loose Cortana, sending the sword flying. It clattered to the ground a few feet away from her. Emma screamed in frustration and kicked the dummy just as the door of the training room opened. 

“I figured you’d be here.” Julian said, looking from her haggard appearance to the dummy. He eyes Cortana and approaches the sword. Emma stood frozen in place. She could hear and feel Julian’s footsteps behind her, but she could not bring herself to face him. 

Julian carefully took her left hand, making goosebumps rise from Emma’s skin, kissing her knuckles before handing Cortana back to her. She held the sword limply. Next, to her surprise, Julian wrapped his arms around her from behind, making her gasp. 

“You know I can cut you with Cortana, right?” She said weakly, trying to joke but failing. Her heart wasn’t into joking. Not with Julian holding her like this. Not when Julian was breathing against the back of her neck. Not when Julian was getting married and not to her. He was silent.

Emma sighed, “Julian, we shouldn’t be doing this-” “Just say it.” Julian cut her off. Emma did not understand, and was about to open her mouth to ask, when Julian spoke again.

“Say that I shouldn’t marry her, and I won’t.”

Emma bit back a sob. He was letting her choose. She wanted nothing more than to say those words ever since she heard the news. 

_ Don’t marry her, marry me instead.  _ But that was too much wishful thinking. Their marks would get stripped.  _ Don’t marry her, don’t marry anyone else either, let’s just stick to what we have.  _ But that was too selfish. Julian deserves to be married. Julian deserves to have children of his own. Julian deserves a future. It was something she could not give. 

“Just say it, Emma.  _ Please _ .” 

Emma feels the hairs on her back get wet, and realizes Julian was crying, pleading her to say the words. She could not contain her tears anymore, and before she knew it, she was crying as well, fat tears falling from her brown eyes and her whole body shaking not out of exhaustion, but of trying to hold back her sobs. Still, she kept her mouth shut, biting her lips until it bled.

They stood there for the longest time, a boy with ocean eyes begging and begging in desperate cries for something a girl with sunlit hair could not give.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I just recently discovered a Blackstairs playlist on Spotify, and I cannot get the songs off my head, so I decided to put it into writing (even if these events will not be linked to TDA plot). Kudos to whoever made that playlist! And I hope you enjoyed my short fic, there's more to come following the same narrative! <3


End file.
